I'm taking a break from blogging, gang. I'm finder it more difficult to justify the time that it takes, and it has become more of a burden than a pleasure. After a nasty comment on one of my other blogs, I began to feel a little vulnerable, and perhaps it's now time to close some of the doors I have very publically opened. It's been a journey of about two years and I hope you've enjoyed the view. Thanks for reading,
Alison Bayne
Wednesday, 22 December 2010
Tuesday, 9 November 2010
Calming Down at Bedtime
The descent begins at about 3.30, I suppose. Sometimes I want it to rain during the school run, as that means I can keep Secundus in his pushchair and march along through the puddles, unencumbered.
If it isn't raining, it usually will have been at some point in the day, and there are plenty of wet places for Secundus to drag the bottoms of his trousers through. Being in the buggy prevents him from going on strike half-way to school and lying down on the pavement, silently, with mournful eyes, until I have to carry him the rest of the way over my shoulder. So rain is good.
We get to school and hang about for Prima to emerge, usually carrying her coat, wellies, three drawings, a water bottle, a letter for parents and an empty book bag. During the walk home we debate the purchasing of goodies from the baker's (always a no unless it is Friday), whether they can watch telly for the next three hours, and why so-and-so isn't so-and-so's friend any more. By the time we get back, one of us usually has wet feet, wet hair or wet pants. Sometimes the front door key sticks, sending Prima into a panic and increasing her need for the toilet fivefold.
Clattering in past the array of vast shoes, a bag of magazines for recycling and two crates of Hobgoblin, coats are discarded, bringing about the first of many requests to be reluctantly met that afternoon. Drinks are ordered. Snacks are prepared and eaten (apart from the crusts), alleviating the cries of "I'm hungry" for around thirty minutes.
The television debate begins - what to watch, how long for, where to sit etc etc. I catch up on emails, drink several coffees in quick succession and begin cooking tea, having set the dishwasher and hung more washing out on our Victorian-style airer. I go in to the front room periodically, to see how glazed-over their eyes are; it happens quite quickly if Ivor the Engine is on.
Sometimes I succeed in coaxing them away from the television. Prima loves listening to audiobooks and is often content to do anything or nothing as long as she can listen to Enid Blyton's The Mystery of Rat-a-Tat House. I would choose music every time, but her daddy is a Radio 4 addict, so I guess it comes from there. Her latest craze is making books such as "Songs and Rimes for Baybes". Secundus, always keen to watch anything on telly, will frequently deign to play Cbeebies computer games (I kid myself it's less passive) if "the television doesn't work anymore".
We all eat tea together when my OH comes home, usually in a fairly heroic, "I've done a day's work" manner. Most times I'll have actually cooked something but there are occasions when he's had to walk in and pick up a saucepan as soon as he's taken his shoes off. At least now I have an ally during the negotiations at the table, namely "Eating your Food", "Sitting on your Chair", "Who Needs the Toilet?", "Not lying under the Table", and "The Promise of Pudding".
I don't know what we do after tea, really, it just seems to go. Sometimes I'll wash up and we'll dance to such classics as Deee-lite's Groove Is In The Heart whilst clearing the table. Or my OH will spend a while in the front room with the kids, playing throwing games (throwing the kids), monsters, pirate, circus skills. Maybe Prima will read her book from school.
Depending on the injuries sustained during the games and the level of arguing and whining, bathtime is usually at about 7.00, often culminating in dramatic assertions from nearly six-year-old Prima that she is "Too tired" and "Can't Get Out of the Bath", "Can't get Dry" and "Can't get her Jamas on" and "Will Not Be Our Friend". Beginning the bedtime story (currently The Children of Cherry Tree Farm) in her absence usually convinces her to regain her skills.
By the time bedtime arrives, I don't know who is more frazzled. I have to work hard to stay patient and try to keep the atmosphere calm. Secundus loves listening to me sing so that's a good way to wind down, taking deep breaths and going through my repertoire of songs from the shows or from my childhood (think Goodbye Yellow Brick Road and The Only Living Boy in New York).
Prima is keen to join in and make up her own verses which can become rather epic, so we have discovered that CDs, such as those in the Magical Meditations for Kids range (Diviniti Publishing Ltd) are a good way to settle her down. Often I'll lie next to her on the bed and we'll both benefit from the chance to breathe deeply and slowly, perhaps for the first time that day, following a guided meditation. It only takes one track and we'll have been up in space or tried out a magic carpet, ventured to the end of the rainbow or met an angel.
You can listen to sample tracks here.
Switching off like this puts us both in a more positive frame of mind, whatever the day has held, it helps us to use our imaginations and it teaches us ways to cope with feelings of frustration or tiredness. I hope it'll give Prima a head-start in staying calm and positive, as anxiety and insomnia were major issues for me as a child, and negative was my default setting. It's good to practise dealing with stressful situations and handling mixed emotions together - and it's never too early or too late to learn.
If it isn't raining, it usually will have been at some point in the day, and there are plenty of wet places for Secundus to drag the bottoms of his trousers through. Being in the buggy prevents him from going on strike half-way to school and lying down on the pavement, silently, with mournful eyes, until I have to carry him the rest of the way over my shoulder. So rain is good.
We get to school and hang about for Prima to emerge, usually carrying her coat, wellies, three drawings, a water bottle, a letter for parents and an empty book bag. During the walk home we debate the purchasing of goodies from the baker's (always a no unless it is Friday), whether they can watch telly for the next three hours, and why so-and-so isn't so-and-so's friend any more. By the time we get back, one of us usually has wet feet, wet hair or wet pants. Sometimes the front door key sticks, sending Prima into a panic and increasing her need for the toilet fivefold.
Clattering in past the array of vast shoes, a bag of magazines for recycling and two crates of Hobgoblin, coats are discarded, bringing about the first of many requests to be reluctantly met that afternoon. Drinks are ordered. Snacks are prepared and eaten (apart from the crusts), alleviating the cries of "I'm hungry" for around thirty minutes.
The television debate begins - what to watch, how long for, where to sit etc etc. I catch up on emails, drink several coffees in quick succession and begin cooking tea, having set the dishwasher and hung more washing out on our Victorian-style airer. I go in to the front room periodically, to see how glazed-over their eyes are; it happens quite quickly if Ivor the Engine is on.
Sometimes I succeed in coaxing them away from the television. Prima loves listening to audiobooks and is often content to do anything or nothing as long as she can listen to Enid Blyton's The Mystery of Rat-a-Tat House. I would choose music every time, but her daddy is a Radio 4 addict, so I guess it comes from there. Her latest craze is making books such as "Songs and Rimes for Baybes". Secundus, always keen to watch anything on telly, will frequently deign to play Cbeebies computer games (I kid myself it's less passive) if "the television doesn't work anymore".
We all eat tea together when my OH comes home, usually in a fairly heroic, "I've done a day's work" manner. Most times I'll have actually cooked something but there are occasions when he's had to walk in and pick up a saucepan as soon as he's taken his shoes off. At least now I have an ally during the negotiations at the table, namely "Eating your Food", "Sitting on your Chair", "Who Needs the Toilet?", "Not lying under the Table", and "The Promise of Pudding".
I don't know what we do after tea, really, it just seems to go. Sometimes I'll wash up and we'll dance to such classics as Deee-lite's Groove Is In The Heart whilst clearing the table. Or my OH will spend a while in the front room with the kids, playing throwing games (throwing the kids), monsters, pirate, circus skills. Maybe Prima will read her book from school.
Depending on the injuries sustained during the games and the level of arguing and whining, bathtime is usually at about 7.00, often culminating in dramatic assertions from nearly six-year-old Prima that she is "Too tired" and "Can't Get Out of the Bath", "Can't get Dry" and "Can't get her Jamas on" and "Will Not Be Our Friend". Beginning the bedtime story (currently The Children of Cherry Tree Farm) in her absence usually convinces her to regain her skills.
By the time bedtime arrives, I don't know who is more frazzled. I have to work hard to stay patient and try to keep the atmosphere calm. Secundus loves listening to me sing so that's a good way to wind down, taking deep breaths and going through my repertoire of songs from the shows or from my childhood (think Goodbye Yellow Brick Road and The Only Living Boy in New York).
Prima is keen to join in and make up her own verses which can become rather epic, so we have discovered that CDs, such as those in the Magical Meditations for Kids range (Diviniti Publishing Ltd) are a good way to settle her down. Often I'll lie next to her on the bed and we'll both benefit from the chance to breathe deeply and slowly, perhaps for the first time that day, following a guided meditation. It only takes one track and we'll have been up in space or tried out a magic carpet, ventured to the end of the rainbow or met an angel. You can listen to sample tracks here.
 |
| from £10.95 |
Switching off like this puts us both in a more positive frame of mind, whatever the day has held, it helps us to use our imaginations and it teaches us ways to cope with feelings of frustration or tiredness. I hope it'll give Prima a head-start in staying calm and positive, as anxiety and insomnia were major issues for me as a child, and negative was my default setting. It's good to practise dealing with stressful situations and handling mixed emotions together - and it's never too early or too late to learn.
Sunday, 10 October 2010
To mop or to mope?
You know how many times I've fallen off the Fly Lady bandwagon. Don't get me started on How to be the Perfect Housewife. A shiny spirit is more important than a shiny sink, but can you kill two birds with one stone? Can you turn housework into something that's good for your soul? Ben Bushill, author of The Transformation of Housework (Capall Bann Publishing, £8.95), thinks so; inspired by his pioneering book, here are ten ways to bring spirituality into housework!
1. "Let go of your negative feelings as you let go of your rubbish," says Ben. Making the connection between the yucky stuff in your bin and the ugly stuff in your life, try saying "I throw away all feelings of ...(shame, guilt, regret etc), right now" as you put the bins out.
2. Instead of detesting the washing-up, see it as a chance to mess about with water and bubbles. Put on a bit of hand-lotion, don your Marigolds; "this is a chance to soothe your hands and your whole body...with water therapy" grins Ben.
3. With "horrible" jobs, such as cleaning "stinking, damp" cupboards, says Ben, "it is the starting that is difficult, it is the idea of having to do something that seems so nasty that makes the job difficult." But just make a start! "Once you actually get going at it and stop thinking, the revulsion fades".
4. Faced with mouldy grout, or a blocked sink, connect the task to yourself. "If you can feel that you are cleansing part of yourself, then suddenly the job is more worthwhile," explains Ben. Before you start, "reflect on something that is mouldy inside of you, either physically or emotionally. If you have any aches and pains in your body, take a few seconds to tune into them...As you wipe away the dirt, feel your self cleaned and your body becoming fresher."
5. Julia Day, in Patchwork of Magic, suggests that if life's become dull and dingy, "give the windows a good clean and concentrate on all the light pouring into your life."
6.When you're scrubbing the walls and floor and have dirty water to pour away, Julia says "as the black water flows down the drain, think of all the bad things leaving your life."
7. Instead of thinking about how resentful you feel, as you tidy away the sippy cups, lego, assorted hair accessories, dinosaurs and six pairs of your husband's shoes, focus on how organised your life is becoming. It's mind over matter!
8. Decide to enjoy a task. If playing a CD in the background or sharing housework with a friend helps, do that! Change your attitude so that what you are doing becomes "a positive experience, rather than an exercise in resentment and grumpiness." When peeling potatoes for example, decide to relax your shoulders and let yourself sink down into your feet. "Let a feeling of stillness and energy fill your body," suggests Ben; be open to calm and enjoyment.
9. See the link between the grimiest parts of our houses and the darker sides of ourselves, neither which we want to look at. You can release your negative feelings as you deal with the dirt and mess. "When we can accept the darkest parts of our houses, then we are halfway" says Ben, "to accepting the darkest parts of ourselves."
10. "If we learn anything from our housework, from the never-ending cycle of chores," says Ben, "then it is that nothing is permanent, nothing stays clean." This might be seen as a bad thing but it means that everything passes, however dire things seem, "your negative feelings will change."
1. "Let go of your negative feelings as you let go of your rubbish," says Ben. Making the connection between the yucky stuff in your bin and the ugly stuff in your life, try saying "I throw away all feelings of ...(shame, guilt, regret etc), right now" as you put the bins out.
2. Instead of detesting the washing-up, see it as a chance to mess about with water and bubbles. Put on a bit of hand-lotion, don your Marigolds; "this is a chance to soothe your hands and your whole body...with water therapy" grins Ben.
3. With "horrible" jobs, such as cleaning "stinking, damp" cupboards, says Ben, "it is the starting that is difficult, it is the idea of having to do something that seems so nasty that makes the job difficult." But just make a start! "Once you actually get going at it and stop thinking, the revulsion fades".
4. Faced with mouldy grout, or a blocked sink, connect the task to yourself. "If you can feel that you are cleansing part of yourself, then suddenly the job is more worthwhile," explains Ben. Before you start, "reflect on something that is mouldy inside of you, either physically or emotionally. If you have any aches and pains in your body, take a few seconds to tune into them...As you wipe away the dirt, feel your self cleaned and your body becoming fresher."
5. Julia Day, in Patchwork of Magic, suggests that if life's become dull and dingy, "give the windows a good clean and concentrate on all the light pouring into your life."
6.When you're scrubbing the walls and floor and have dirty water to pour away, Julia says "as the black water flows down the drain, think of all the bad things leaving your life."
7. Instead of thinking about how resentful you feel, as you tidy away the sippy cups, lego, assorted hair accessories, dinosaurs and six pairs of your husband's shoes, focus on how organised your life is becoming. It's mind over matter!
8. Decide to enjoy a task. If playing a CD in the background or sharing housework with a friend helps, do that! Change your attitude so that what you are doing becomes "a positive experience, rather than an exercise in resentment and grumpiness." When peeling potatoes for example, decide to relax your shoulders and let yourself sink down into your feet. "Let a feeling of stillness and energy fill your body," suggests Ben; be open to calm and enjoyment.
9. See the link between the grimiest parts of our houses and the darker sides of ourselves, neither which we want to look at. You can release your negative feelings as you deal with the dirt and mess. "When we can accept the darkest parts of our houses, then we are halfway" says Ben, "to accepting the darkest parts of ourselves."
10. "If we learn anything from our housework, from the never-ending cycle of chores," says Ben, "then it is that nothing is permanent, nothing stays clean." This might be seen as a bad thing but it means that everything passes, however dire things seem, "your negative feelings will change."
Friday, 17 September 2010
Thursday, 9 September 2010
Mumtopia Supports Women in Business #2 : Magenta
Welcome to the second in a series celebrating women who run their own businesses. In this series, Mumtopia is pleased to encourage you to Sock It To The Man by supporting small businesses, not large corporations, and buying locally rather than from multinationals.
Magenta is one such business, creating beautiful and empowering new age products by hand. Middlesex-based Magenta has been selling her new age products on a very small scale in a couple of local shops but has now launched her new website. Visiting the Magenta website http://www.new-age-web.com/ is like walking into the home of a wise and caring friend. You can tell Magenta is not only experienced in her palmistry and Celtic astrology work but is also dedicated to treating her customers as individuals. I can imagine that her Tarot workshops and Psychic parties must be enlightening and very popular.
Magenta's friendly website is only the beginning. When my parcel of goodies arrived, I was struck by her attention to detail and how clear it was that each item had been made individually, with care and flair. Even the labels are hand-written. No mass production line here, and many of the herbs and flowers used are grown in Magenta's own garden.
Magenta's Simmering Pot Pourri, £3.75, which has been especially blended for simmering in hot water either in an oil burner or in a saucepan was the first of my goodies. As Autumn can often be a difficult time for me, echoing the return to school, the approach of my birthday and the clocks going back, I decided to chose her Autumn blend to help clear my negative associations with the season. Other blends available include new home/ love/ health & healing/ yule/ relaxing/ energising/ clearing negativity/meditation. Autumn is truly divine.
My daughter admired the earrings Magenta sent me, from her Gothic range of jewellery. "They make me think of Mulan" she decided (this, I stress, is A Good Thing). The Gothic range, which includes earrings, necklaces, bracelets and anklets, is made with chunky antique silver-finish metal and black resin beads, and is delicate, dark and mysterious. Starting at £4.95, each piece is hand-made and every one is made up slightly differently; it feels great to know that my earrings are unique.
If your friends have something to celebrate, whether it be an engagement, work success, a new addition to the family, or a new home, Magenta's greetings cards are a beautiful and meaningful gift, with lovely personal finishing touches and containing special blessings. The cards come with full instructions and everything you need to activate the power of the blessing.
Magenta makes all her products with love and positive intention, and this shines through the items themselves. If you're a new age enthusiast, think small-scale, think hand-crafted, think made in England: think Magenta.
Magenta is one such business, creating beautiful and empowering new age products by hand. Middlesex-based Magenta has been selling her new age products on a very small scale in a couple of local shops but has now launched her new website. Visiting the Magenta website http://www.new-age-web.com/ is like walking into the home of a wise and caring friend. You can tell Magenta is not only experienced in her palmistry and Celtic astrology work but is also dedicated to treating her customers as individuals. I can imagine that her Tarot workshops and Psychic parties must be enlightening and very popular.
Magenta's friendly website is only the beginning. When my parcel of goodies arrived, I was struck by her attention to detail and how clear it was that each item had been made individually, with care and flair. Even the labels are hand-written. No mass production line here, and many of the herbs and flowers used are grown in Magenta's own garden.
Magenta's Simmering Pot Pourri, £3.75, which has been especially blended for simmering in hot water either in an oil burner or in a saucepan was the first of my goodies. As Autumn can often be a difficult time for me, echoing the return to school, the approach of my birthday and the clocks going back, I decided to chose her Autumn blend to help clear my negative associations with the season. Other blends available include new home/ love/ health & healing/ yule/ relaxing/ energising/ clearing negativity/meditation. Autumn is truly divine.
My daughter admired the earrings Magenta sent me, from her Gothic range of jewellery. "They make me think of Mulan" she decided (this, I stress, is A Good Thing). The Gothic range, which includes earrings, necklaces, bracelets and anklets, is made with chunky antique silver-finish metal and black resin beads, and is delicate, dark and mysterious. Starting at £4.95, each piece is hand-made and every one is made up slightly differently; it feels great to know that my earrings are unique.
If your friends have something to celebrate, whether it be an engagement, work success, a new addition to the family, or a new home, Magenta's greetings cards are a beautiful and meaningful gift, with lovely personal finishing touches and containing special blessings. The cards come with full instructions and everything you need to activate the power of the blessing.
Magenta makes all her products with love and positive intention, and this shines through the items themselves. If you're a new age enthusiast, think small-scale, think hand-crafted, think made in England: think Magenta.
Tuesday, 31 August 2010
Next week's Menu Chez Bayne
Monday :
Breakfast - cereal
Lunch - cheddar cheese ploughman's
Dinner - Homemade sausage rolls
Tuesday
Breakfast - toast and jam
Lunch - grated carrot and hummus pitta
Dinner - Tortilla
Wednesday
Breakfast - Scrambled eggs on toast
Lunch - Toasted sandwich
Dinner - Veg spag bol
Thursday
Breakfast - Porridge with fruit
Lunch - Homemade soup
Dinner - Homemade burger with salsa, salad and wedges
Friday
Breakfast - Beans on Toast
Lunch - Bagel
Dinner - Homemade curry and homemade naan
Saturday
Breakfast - cooked breakfast
Lunch - that's as far as I've got for now!
Breakfast - cereal
Lunch - cheddar cheese ploughman's
Dinner - Homemade sausage rolls
Tuesday
Breakfast - toast and jam
Lunch - grated carrot and hummus pitta
Dinner - Tortilla
Wednesday
Breakfast - Scrambled eggs on toast
Lunch - Toasted sandwich
Dinner - Veg spag bol
Thursday
Breakfast - Porridge with fruit
Lunch - Homemade soup
Dinner - Homemade burger with salsa, salad and wedges
Friday
Breakfast - Beans on Toast
Lunch - Bagel
Dinner - Homemade curry and homemade naan
Saturday
Breakfast - cooked breakfast
Lunch - that's as far as I've got for now!
Tuesday, 24 August 2010
Cheap, Quick and Easy - and heading to your table!
When I first left home I hadn't a clue in the kitchen. I mainly ate cheese sandwiches. For vitamins I ate tinned Heinz Tomato Soup. Sometimes I had Weetabix and sultanas, but mainly cheese sandwiches. Things got worse when I became a vegetarian, because I don't like fruit, and I cut out fish too.
Tempted back by an ex-boyfriend's bacon sandwiches in 1998, I am now an omnivore and marginally better at cooking. I can do a mean curry with the help of Lloyd Grossman, but I'm always stuck for inspiration, especially by the end of the week when the cupboards are barer than usual and I'm more worn out than is typical. I am not one of those people that can dream up fantastic dishes - a cookery book is a must. When Foulsham sent me The Classic 1000 Quick and Easy Recipes (£7.99), I thought it would be a nice change from my battered copy of Vegetarian Grub on A Grant. And with its promise that everything will be on the table in half an hour, Carolyn Humphries' collection of 1000 quick and easy recipes was appealing.
I'm sure none of you reading this are as bad in the kitchen as I am. I can even get fishfingers wrong. But in the spirit of adventure and frugality, I am planning a week's worth of menu's from the above-mentioned-tome. I have two adults and two children to feed chez Bayne, no food allergies and fairly broad tastes, but we have got a bit stuck in a gastronomie rut of late. Ingredients and instructions will be included, all adapted from the book. Why not join in and let me know how you get on?
More soon!
I'm sure none of you reading this are as bad in the kitchen as I am. I can even get fishfingers wrong. But in the spirit of adventure and frugality, I am planning a week's worth of menu's from the above-mentioned-tome. I have two adults and two children to feed chez Bayne, no food allergies and fairly broad tastes, but we have got a bit stuck in a gastronomie rut of late. Ingredients and instructions will be included, all adapted from the book. Why not join in and let me know how you get on?
More soon!
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